i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
