ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
