i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
