when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
