he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
