i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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