peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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