I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
