He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
