Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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