I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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