I've blown a few things in my day
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
