OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
