you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
