Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
