I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
