Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize