i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
