I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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