1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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