My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
