I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
