I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
