I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
