I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
