i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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