but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
