Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
