he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
