I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
