Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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