The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
