dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize