Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
