Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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