I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
