no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
