I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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