the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
