I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
A+ Viking dick
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize