what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
