it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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