She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
