Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize