he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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