I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He? As in you personified your dick?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
