Christians are straight up FREAKS
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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