I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize