I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
