K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize