It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
