i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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