Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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