I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
