if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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