btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
