I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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