Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
