what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
